Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
