I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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