Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
