whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
