Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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