i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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