Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
