Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize