I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
