Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
