im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize