we have officially lost it.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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