: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
