I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize