Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
