the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
