You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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