I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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