shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
