I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Randomize
