He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize