I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
