You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Randomize
