I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
