Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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