yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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