I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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