have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Even my vagina gasped.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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