How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
