Everything about him screamed your future.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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