Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
