guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize