I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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