Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
