beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
