Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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