Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
