he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
