I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My breasts were aching with rage.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
