he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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