He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
