there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
