Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
