I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
