Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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