how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
