My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize