I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
