ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
