Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
