It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
