Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
