Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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