My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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