I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
