problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
