I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize