I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
