your thong is hanging out like whoa
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
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