What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
