even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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