The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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