im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
