don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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