hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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