im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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