i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
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