Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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