he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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