you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
