Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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